A few weeks ago, my son graduated from high school. As most parents know, that’s such a wonderful milestone to observe. Years of preparation, joy, frustration—all receive their “due” when that diploma is handed over. But, it is also a marker of some other things. According to the government, at age 18 the young person gains control of his/her medical records (even if the parents still insure them!). At age 18, registering for Selective Service implies being old enough to go to battle for our country. In short, turning 18, or graduating from high school, suggests the changing nature of the relationship between parent and child.
Of course, most of us go through a gradual change in that negotiation of relationships. We’ve learned, over the years, that we can have conversations about different issues, with different levels of complexity. Talking about global events takes on new meaning. Increased responsibility raises all sorts of issues (and anxieties). But it is all part of the process of raising children, or getting older (as a child). I’ve certainly found myself fumbling through old patterns, trying to arrive at newly-meaningful ones.
This process in my household, is occurring at the same time that we, as a society and church, are struggling with re-defining, or renewing, old relationships. I’ve thought about this several times over the last few weeks when folks have started coming back to our Sunday morning in-person service—whether outdoors or indoors. When greeting one another before or after the service, or at the Passing of the Peace, there’s an uncertainty as to how to express, physically, those old relationships. “Can we get that close?” “Do we just wave the “peace sign” from afar”? “Is the namasté bow still appropriate?” “What about a fist-bump, or elbow-bump?” “Do I have to wear a mask with you?”
All of these are indications that relationships have been disrupted, and have to be developed anew. But there are other relationships that have been in flux the last 15 months. What is my relationship to the Eucharist? What is my relationship to corporate worship? What is my relationship to, or attitude about worship and “sacred space” (given that, for months, I was leading worship from my basement!)? How have my ideas about meetings on-line changed (since I had had plenty of Zoom meetings prior to COVID)? There is A LOT that has been going on with many relationships! How will we re-relate?
A partner in all of those relationship changes, however, is God. As I pointed out in my sermon from Trinity Sunday, the Trinity itself is all about relationships, specifically the relationships between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. As I mentioned, historically, that relationship has been described as a sort of dance, a perichoresis. It is an interweaving, constantly moving, dance where patterns occur, change, re-occur and change again. It is a dance that invites some renegotiation and improvisation. It is a dance that redefines relationships, since there are more than simply two partners.
It is a dance to which we are invited. We are renegotiating a lot of relationships. A good question to ask in the midst of all of that hard work, then, is “How is God dancing with me right now? And where am I being led by the Lord of the Dance?” And who will I invite to join in?