The Importance of Gratitude

Elaine+Oxenbury.jpg

A few weeks ago, DeeDee asked me to write about "The importance of gratitude and how you incorporate it into your life . . ." I am honored to be asked; gratitude is a foundational principle in my life. So, here goes!

I have been so blessed in my life. I was a small, sickly, premature baby who wasn’t supposed to live long enough to bother going to school. Some years ago, I had a spiritual experience, while walking a labyrinth, that showed me the spiritual battle that had been fought in heaven about my pending birth, that resulted in God’s booming voice saying, “THIS BABY SHALL LIVE!!!” I know, woo woo stuff. I thought so too! God has brought me through much, good and not so good: chronic illness, childhood abuse, spiritual and emotional healing, marriage, raising children, moving to a new country, losing my parents, teaching, friendships, professional and volunteer work, and more…None of it would have been the same without the help of God.

Truly, I am thankful for it all. But, what of it? What is the appropriate response to God’s support and God-given blessings? Say thanks and move on?

For me, the appropriate response is to live my life with an attitude of gratitude. Now, to be honest, this is not something I have mastered. I still get resentful at times. I get downright angry about things at other times. But my intention is to face everything in life through the lens of gratitude.

How do I do this? This part is hard to write, because it feels a bit like I am tooting my own horn, and that is not my intent.

I do this in my prayer life. Some of you may have heard me pray when we were doing healing prayers. Most often, I begin by thanking God that he already has the circumstance under control. I ask God to go before us into whatever situation is arising: into the O.R. and fill it with God’s Spirit of love and healing. To give the medical staff a good night’s sleep and steady hands. To help the cleaning staff do an especially good job. To wrap the family in healing light and love. To give the spouse and kids patience. My prayers tend to be filled with practical stuff, not because God needs a to-do list, but because I need to remind myself and the people with whom I am praying that THIS IS WHAT GOD DOES. When I pray this way, I am praying out of gratitude for God’s goodness.

I do this in my daily work. I work hard, and I work long hours. And, intentionally, I choose to be grateful doing it. God has put a desire to teach in my heart, and it is out of gratitude for this action that I teach. Oddly, I was trained as a teacher in University, but then took a detour and went into banking. I had decided that teaching in a school system was not what I wanted to do. Guess what happened? I ended up TEACHING banking (among other things)!! Then, I volunteered at my kids’ school, which led to a teaching position in two schools and a thriving tutoring business. I walked into the two schools and asked for the jobs—and got them. I almost never advertise my tutoring...most times, God sends students to me. When I quit working at the first school in order to work at Mary’s Hope Workshops, I suggested to God that if he wanted me to work at Mary’s Hope, he’d need to help me build up my tutoring, since MH didn’t have the money to pay me. My tutoring business exploded!! God is so gracious! Out of gratitude for—and because of--God’s abundance, I have been able to keep my tutoring fees stable (and low) since 1998, and lower them for folks who cannot afford my going rate.

I do this with my friends and neighbors. Years ago, when the kids were small and I was pregnant, Bruce was out of work. Friends and acquaintances from church arrived unexpectedly with bags of groceries. I have never forgotten this. Because of the generosity of God, and Bruce’s and my hard work, we have often been in a position to help others financially. And we do, sometimes with significant sacrifice, sometimes with less. We also have been blessed to be able to offer our home to people in need on several occasions—offering them a place to stay until they get back on their feet. We have always been blessed to have somewhere to live and people who are supportive of us, and out of our gratitude for that, we share. We also share through our pledge to the church and other organizations. Over the years, our pledging has changed, depending on the circumstances: sometimes we had more money than time; other times we had more time than money. But our donation of money, time and talent to the service of others has always been the top priority in our life budget.

I do this with people who serve me. During this pandemic, Bruce and I have chosen to stay home to the highest extent. Therefore, I have not gone for my usual medical appointments, haircuts, massages etc. But I realize that this means a loss of income for these folks, so we have decided to pay them anyway. I have been blessed to be able to continue to tutor via Zoom, and so we are able to do this. God’s abundance is meant to be shared!

I do this when times are hard…at least I try to! During this pandemic, I focus on the blessings that a more isolated season of life brings. I have time to focus on my health—through eating foods that honor my body, exercising, decluttering both my home and my attitudes. These are steps that grow out of gratitude for the life that God has given me. I have more time to be intentional about growing my connection with God. It is just lovely to sit with God and just be in His presence. I work to stay in the moment and be grateful, rather than live in the past with sorrow or resentment, or live for the future with fear or envy. Every difficulty comes with a silver lining of blessing, if I but look for it. And when I seek it and find it, the difficulty becomes a burden that God carries with me, rather than something I have to take on by myself.

Living my life with an attitude of gratitude has brought me to places of joy I would never have known. I have made some dear, dear friends from working with others. I have found strength I didn’t know I have. I have found acceptance of things just as they are, as well as courage to change what I can. St. Irenaeus of Lyons once said, “The glory of God is man fully alive.” It is through gratitude that I have found the way to live my life large—fully—and only to God’s glory. I am so very grateful!